- 43% of young people have been bullied, 44% of which are bullied at least once a week.
- 26% said their weight was targeted, 21% body shape, 18% clothing, 14% facial features, 9% glasses and 8% hair color.
- 74% of those who have been bullied, have, at some point been physically attacked. 17% have been sexually assaulted. 62% have been cyber bullied.
Courtesy of Ditch The Label.
These statistics are AWFUL. And the reason why I brought them up is because I want to change it. I want to help you overcome it once and for all. The same way I overcame it in my own life without needing therapy, counselling, or anything of the sort.
Some of the advice recommended in this post may be unpopular and unconventional, but it works. And in reality is the best way to overcome bullying issues, so you can build the self esteem you deserve.
The Most Helpful Ways To Overcome Bullying
1. Kill em with happiness
Sounds like a lyric from a rap song or something, right? But I’m deadly serious when I say kill em with happiness. And here’s what I mean.
- What activities make you feel good about yourself?
- At what times in your life do you feel the happiest?
- What is it you love doing more than anything else?
- What makes you FEEL confident?
Whatever your answers are to these questions, do them and do them often. The more often you do them, the happier and more excited you’ll feel. And there’s nothing more discouraging to a bully than to see you happy and content.
Bullies bully to make you FEEL as terrible as they feel about themselves, after all. The happier you are, the more discouraged they’ll be. And the less likely they are to target you. Because it’ll be too much effort on their part.
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2. Change your circle of friends, RIGHT NOW
Happiness is when you make unexpected new friends. – Unknown
If you’re being bullied, it means your friends aren’t really your friends. What does that mean? And how is that possible?
Ask yourself this question –
- If my friends were really friends, would they let others bully me so much? Or would they step in, protect me and stand up for me 100%?
The truth is real friends wouldn’t let bullies bully you over and over again. They’d see it as wrong, and they’d prove that through their actions.
Even if meant defending you or getting into a fight. And even If it meant getting into trouble because of it. Actions always speak louder than words.
Characterize people by their actions, and you’ll never be fooled by their words. – Unknown
On the other hand, what If your friends are also being bullied? What If all of you are being bullied? Then it means you all need to unite, stand strong together, summon up the courage, and face your fears as a group.
If you don’t stand up for yourself and let others know where you stand, then the bullying will only continue to happen. Reporting it won’t solve the problem, because when another bully comes along the same thing will happen to you again.
Overcoming bullying starts with YOU. And overcoming bullying is that much easier with friends who’ve got your back.
So either add more friends to your group, get rid of your old friends who aren’t willing to even help you (if proven by their actions), or find a new set of friends who are more supportive and positive.
3. Defend yourself, even if it means getting physical
Even the lion has to defend himself against flies. – Proverb
I know this is unpopular advice, but it’s just the brutal truth. If other people gang up on you, punch you, kick you, and attack you physically, what are you supposed to do? Stand there and take it?
If you stand there and take it, what you’re saying to the bullies is – “I won’t do anything about it, so go ahead and keep hitting me”.
Sometimes defending yourself and fighting back is the best way to stop bullying all together.
Not only will you let the bullies know where you stand and what you won’t tolerate, but they’ll end up respecting you.
Not because they fear you, but because you’re willing to stand up for yourself and protect yourself when the time comes. Even If it means standing up for yourself, BY yourself.
Going back to point #2, if you’re surrounded by the right friends, then you’re less likely to have to take it that far. Best to use this as a last resort.
4. Have a voice
You won’t have a voice if you stay silent. The only way to set boundaries with bullies is to voice your opinions and express yourself without any hesitation.
I’d know because when I dealt with bullying, in the beginning I stayed silent. I was in my shell. I didn’t say much. And I’d just let it happen and brush it off.
Until I decided to use my voice and let others know what I’m willing to and NOT willing to tolerate.
When it all comes down to it, that’s what bullying is about. What you’re willing to tolerate. If you tolerate it, bullies will keep bullying you. And If you stand up for yourself and express that vocally, bullies will more than likely avoid you.
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5. Seek to understand
There’s a reason bullies bully people. You may not care to know, but there’s a good reason to understand why they do it. Because if you do, then you’ll realize you’re not the problem.
When you realize you’re not the problem, you’ll stop treating yourself as if you’re worthless and unimportant.
Bullies bully as a way to deal with their own problems in life. Like a kind of escapism you could say. And they foolishly believe if they bully others, it’ll help them deal with their problems. Or even help them get rid of their problems. But that’s far from the truth.
So seek to understand by looking at things logically. And avoid looking at it from an emotional perspective, because you’ll do yourself more harm than is necessary.
6. Start a mastermind group
What is a mastermind group? A mastermind group is a group of people who have set out to achieve a common goal. And that group will meet on a weekly or a monthly basis to help each other reach those goals.
I’m a part of a mastermind group myself, though the mastermind group I’m a part of is related to business. But there’s no reason you can’t start your own mastermind group with people who’ve overcome bullying, or are in the process of doing so.
By surrounding yourself with people like that you’ll not only deal with life 10X easier, but you’ll overcome your challenges a lot faster.
How can you start your own mastermind group?
- Create a private group on Facebook.
- Find and join a private group on Facebook.
- Find an online forum/community to join.
- Search on Google.
- Reach out to people who’ve overcome bullying.
- Reach out to supportive people you trust who you’ve met online.
- Join a local group.
Personally I started my own by announcing it in an article. And people who were interested found it through Google. But as you can see, there are different ways to make it happen.
Related Post: My Mastermind Group Has Supported Me In 5 Ways
If you have something to share, leave a comment or send me a message.