You can’t compare an apple to an orange. It will cause a lot of self-esteem issues. – Craig Sheffer
Facebook is a social network best used to connect with friends and family. As well as people who you haven’t spoke to for a couple years or even decades.
That’s the main reason we use Facebook. Yet a portion of us who use Facebook get caught up in the vanity, fame, likes, comments, etc. Not to mention the so called “perfect” life that others portray.
Like holiday pictures, new purchases, clothes, attention, popularity and so on.
That’s where the problem begins
At this point it’s easy to start comparing yourself, putting yourself down and envying others. Which causes your self esteem to be crushed like a handful of popcorn.
The problem isn’t Facebook. The problem is your way of thinking.
Impulsively checking Facebook and getting lost in envy is the cause of your issues and blame.
Learn how to stop blaming Facebook for your self esteem issues. So you can take back control and have the confidence you deserve.
1. Focus on yourself
“Focusing is about saying No.” ― Steve Jobs
Say NO to Facebook, and say YES to you. The reason you’re stuck in the “blame” game is because you’re not focused on yourself.
If you’re not focused on yourself you’re focused on other things or people.
And If you’re focused on other people you’re saying NO to your priorities. As well as your own happiness, self love and attention.
So here’s how what I recommend you do….
Realize the problem is you
As harsh as it is to accept that the problem is you, it’s a must.
Problems can’t be solved without first confronting them head on. No matter how ugly the problem is.
Learn to appreciate and be grateful
Comparison is the devil. The more you get lost in comparison, the deeper your self esteem is gonna sink.
What you need to realize is 99% of the pictures, accomplishments and achievements of others is over exaggerated.
On the internet it’s easy for anybody to appear to have a good life. And to appear they’ve got it made.
Even if it’s genuine, not acknowledging your own accomplishments is to your own detriment.
Achievement is a process. It takes time and effort. And even those who’s lives seem perfect were either once difficult beforehand.
If you don’t practice being grateful now, you’ll never have anything to be grateful for in future. It won’t happen overnight, but your practice will pay off.
Study and observe people with high self esteem
If you want to be something, learn from the person who’s become it. If you want to have something, learn from the person who’s got it.
Whoever it is you look up to or take inspiration from, study them. Observe them.
- Pay attention to the words they use.
- The people they surround themselves with.
- The actions they take. The habits they have.
- The things they tolerate. And the things they do or don’t do.
Then use what you’ve learned and apply it to your own life. Overtime as long as you commit, your self esteem will begin to rise.
Focus on your strengths
That’s right. You DO have strengths and things you’re capable of doing. Really well. You’re just not aware of it yet.
By focusing on your strengths, your capabilities and what makes you great, your self esteem will rise.
To know or find your strengths, here’s what you need to know.
- What can I do without struggle?
- What comes easy and naturally to me?
- What do people usually compliment me for?
- What do people praise me for?
- What can I do for hours and hours, without getting bored of it?
Whatever “it” is for you, is what you should be doing more of. It’s probably something you’ve taken for granted or undervalued up until now.
Writing is one of my strengths. It comes naturally to me. Only you can find out what comes naturally to you. You’re the only one who can answer those questions.
2. Practice self discipline
By constant self-discipline and self-control you can develop greatness of character. – Grenville Kleiser
The average person checks their Facebook account over 10 times a day. A study shown in 2013.
If you’re one of those people, and you’re in the habit of comparing yourself, you’re in need of discipline.
The best way to create self discipline is to practice and practice often. Here’s how you can get started….
Download software – Focal Filter
Focal filter is a website blocking application. It can block any website you can think of. Including Facebook.
You can set it up to block websites from 30 minutes, 3 hours, 12 hours, etc. You can download Focal Filter here.
Create a schedule
If you have a schedule you can stick to doing, then you won’t have time for Facebook. You’ll be too busy being productive to get lost in it.
So fill up your schedule with tasks, priorities and things you care about doing. Things that matter to you more than anything.
Things you’re passionate about, things that excite you and make you happy. Do it enough, and the habit of losing yourself in the world of “Facebook” will disappear.
3. Stop attaching compliments to confidence
Validation is a dangerous thing. If you’re constantly searching for validation, don’t expect to find it.
And even if you do find it, when it’s gone your self esteem will suffer from it.
You don’t need validation to feel good about yourself. There are better ways to feel good about yourself. I recommend you read my 3 posts –
- You Don’t Need Permission To Be Yourself.
- Why Life Gets Better When You Stop Giving A Fuck.
- 10 Positive Words You Should Be Using Everyday.
So to summarize this post:
- Focus on yourself.
- Realize the problem is you.
- Learn to appreciate and be grateful.
- Study and observe people with high self esteem.
- Practice self discipline.
- Download focal filter.
- Create a schedule to be more productive.
- Stop attaching confidence to compliments.
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I’m glad to have been useful.