“Real beauty isn’t about symmetry or weight or makeup; it’s about looking life right in the face and seeing all its magnificence reflected in your own.” – Valerie Monroe
I hate you!
I can’t stand you anymore!
Look how stupid you are when you cry!
These words hurt us more when we say it to ourselves than when others say it to us.
Words like that were my negative beliefs created from similar words which I heard from others when I was younger.
As time goes by it gets worse and we start hating ourselves, hating our bodies, feeling ugly and feeling stupid.
I hated my skinny little body, because I BELIEVED those words were true.
We all are creations from love and kindness but negative beliefs push us away from our truth.
Everything that’s happened to you, and is happening now is just a reminder that you need to go back to who you are for real. The real you that’s been buried deep inside you since childhood.
When I was a child, I was so sensitive. And if I didn’t like the color of someone’s voice I felt like they rejected me, so I allowed myself to be a victim to what others would say.
My school friends, people who I met back then, and everybody else who had something to say about my looks, none of them liked my thin body.
I couldn’t look myself in the mirror because I always saw ribbing, and the negative comments from others didn’t help.
I tried to resist it but it didn’t help at all.
The more I resisted and wanted to run away, the more negative people and situations came to me with those humiliating words – “Oh, my God, you’re so skinny! Don’t you ever eat anything?”
How would you feel if someone told you things like that? And how would you answer?
I admit that I never had good answers for questions like that. Eventually, after years of listening to the same questions over and over again, I started to laugh.
At the beginning I was crying. It was just me against the whole world who pointed their fingers at me and said – “You’re not worthy of living because you are so thin!”.
I felt unworthy because I was so physically imperfect.
And when I first laughed at their comments and teasing, I felt a great sense of relief.
I know that my heart laughed, too. If it could, it would have told me – “Laughing is the best answer you can give to people like that, because it feels so good.”
When I told myself – “I am beautiful! I love you, I accept you!” I felt silly at first, and didn’t believe the words sliding out of my mouth.
My inner critic didn’t want me to believe.
And then I started to observe my reflection in the mirror, more and more, while I analyzed myself piece by piece. Eventually I started to love myself for the first time in my life. I could feel it inside me.
It wasn’t easy but it was worth the effort. Now I can proudly say that I love my imperfect body, I feel beautiful, and I don’t say those ugly words to myself anymore.
After all that pain, depression and loneliness, which I have experienced for so many years, I learned many lessons.
And I can say for sure now that there’s no person in the world who can crush me or whose words can destroy my confidence!
I am brave and I love myself enough from the inside, I really don’t need anyone’s approval about how bad or good I look on the outside.
Now I can stand in front of the mirror and see my imperfections and embrace it like something that is so perfect just the way it is.
When you accept your uniqueness and improve it every day by doing things that you love and make you happy, you can be thin, fat, fit, freckles, without some limb, or born with some physical deformation. And it still won’t matter.
The mirror was my biggest enemy. Now we are best friends.
Until I felt pretty, I was attracted to men who weren’t good for me. Nothing ever came of those relationships because I was too shy to speak to them.
When you don’t love yourself, you don’t know what you want out of life, but when you love yourself, you won’t need others to tell you that they love you or that you are beautiful.
The moment I began to accept my looks, good things started to come into my life. One of them is my current husband. I felt even prettier when I knew that he loves me for who I am.
And even now I come across certain people from time to time, who comment on my looks; the difference now in my approach (compared to before) to their comments is huge. Because of the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
And here they are…
How To Feel Beautiful About Your Body When You Look In The Mirror – Lessons I’ve Learned:
1. What kind of person criticizes and condemns others?
The ones who are insecure with themselves are always judging someone else. No matter how pretty they look, if they criticize your body or anything else, it means that deep inside they are hurt and they need help.
That’s why they feel good when they underestimate someone who is different.
You are trouble to them, an obstacle that needs to be eliminated so that they can feel bigger than you.
If you knew how weak they are in their minds, you would stop feeling so unworthy.
A person who has self-confidence and loves themselves doesn’t treat people badly in any kind of way.
2. It`s not your problem, but their problem about how they see you
They see you how they see themselves. You should remember this.
It doesn’t mean that they see themselves as skinny, if they told that you are skinny. But it means they don’t like something about themselves, whatever that is.
3. If you don’t accept yourself, no one will
If I don’t love myself, no one will. And If you refuse to trust myself, nobody else will either. Etc.
Acceptance comes from within. Let your energy be perfect with all your imperfectness.
When there is love within you, you won’t feel threatened or in danger of the actions of others. And if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, then you won’t with others.
When you accept yourself, everything that you wanted others to give you, you’ll be able to give to yourself.
4. Don`t run away from your “imperfect” picture. Be true to who you are
The change is more effective when you accept yourself as you are and not how you think you should be. Especially not the way others think you should be.
Every change first comes from love.
If I had not accepted myself, I’d still be lonely and desperate and might not even be alive. But I accepted who I am and the fact that I’m not perfect.
Whatever you do don’t ever run away because you can’t run away from yourself!
5. Accept your body and talk to yourself with love instead of hate
I’ve done it and you can too.
6. Push your ego to the side
Egocentric is someone who loves only themselves, but only in a way in which his Ego wants to be loved.
7. You’re more than just a body
You are not your body. Bodies are just our physical creations, borrowed for this life in which, as souls, we belong.
When you realize it, acceptance comes naturally.
8. Take care of your body and be grateful for being alive
I feel more grateful just because I’m alive and I always try to improve my inner self more than my outer self.
It doesn’t mean that I don’t cherish my body; I eat healthy as much as I can. I love eating fruits and salads, and when I eat chocolate I also enjoy it. I do stretching exercises in the morning, and sometimes yoga.
What I’m trying to say is:
It doesn’t matter how you look on the outside as long as you feel good from the inside.
Forget about your physical appearance for a moment. Would you love yourself if you were blind? Would you love your body if you couldn’t see?
When you think about this, you`ll find out that there is no pretty or ugly, there are just our beliefs.
I don’t know about you, how you look or how you feel in front of a mirror, but I encourage you to look at yourself in the mirror now.
Don’t analyze too much, be aware of your reflection, and look into your eyes.
What do you see?
While you do that, keep this in mind: You’re worth more than you think.
Someone needs you, someone cares about you and someone is sad when he/she see’s you suffering.
To someone you are the whole world, their everything.
Look at the person in the mirror, and realize that SOMEONE is you.