Not everybody accepts me for who I am. After all, I’m different, I’m unique, and I’m not the same.
The same applies to you. And No matter how much you get on your knees, beg, plead, and prey for it. And no matter how many times you wish upon a star when nighttime falls, that’s the way it goes.
Looking for acceptance is like looking for love. You can’t find love, you can’t search love, and you can’t discover love. Until you decide to start loving yourself and accepting yourself 100%.
On that note, this is how you stop looking for acceptance.
1. Ask yourself – Why are you looking for acceptance?
Knowledge is having the right answer. Intelligence is asking the right question. – Unknown
Before you can hope to STOP looking for acceptance, you’ll need to know why you’re doing it. Because if you don’t know why you’re doing it, you won’t know how to stop doing it. So that’s the first problem to solve.
Ask yourself –
- Why am I looking for acceptance?
- What caused it?
- What brought it on?
- When it did it happen?
- Why did it happen?
You’re best of writing it all down. That way you can see exactly what the problem is on paper, or on a digital notepad. Then we can move onto the next point….
If your answers look similar to this….
- I look for acceptance because I’m unsure of myself.
- I look for acceptance because I don’t feel loved.
- I look for acceptance because I’m not confident enough to make my own decisions.
Then all you’ve got to do is start practicing on each of these problems. Meaning – If you look for acceptance because you don’t feel loved, practice loving yourself.
To love yourself is to treat yourself the same way you’d treat someone YOU love.
- Treat yourself with respect.
- Give yourself the best of the best.
- Bring yourself UP instead of putting yourself DOWN.
- Treat yourself to the best, quality food.
The same principle above applies to any other reasons you may have been searching for acceptance.
All you’ve got to do is practice, practice, and practice some more. Consistently. Non stop. Until you practice so much that the bad habit of seeking acceptance, which hurts your self esteem, starts to fade away.
3. Get in the habit of acknowledging your qualities.
A person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. – H. Jackson Brown
There’s no better way to start feeling more appreciated than to appreciate yourself. You appreciate yourself by acknowledging the great things about yourself. But what If you can’t SEE the great qualities you have?
- Pay attention to compliments.
- Pay attention to the things people praise you for.
- Ask people you trust to tell you.
- Pay attention to the things people love about you.
- Pay attention to the things you’re good at doing.
- Pay attention to the good things you do for others.
It all comes down to your self awareness. And by doing the 6 things above you’ll be able to nail down on your qualities if you’re unable to see them yet.
Then all you’ve got to do with this new found knowledge is acknowledge yourself. 100%.
The more you acknowledge and recognize what makes you great and what makes you who you are, the happier and more confident you’re gonna become. And that’s exactly what you want.
4. Realize you’re not perfect, and be OK with that.
When you get sucked into the world of mainstream media, models, and celebrity magazines, you start comparing yourself.
You start believing in such a thing as “perfection” and even go out of your way to achieve it yourself. Not knowing most celebrities are full of fake-up (make up), and their photos are airbrushed.
It’s OK to NOT be perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist. We’re all flawed in more ways than 1. And we’re equally blessed, talented, skilled, and have great qualities in more ways than 1.
When you stop chasing perfection, and instead strive for progress, your self esteem will go through the roof and land on the moon.
5. Realize not everybody will like you.
This point is similar to the last one. There are over 7+ billion people on this planet we call earth. And guess what? Not everybody will like you. Or as we say in England – not everyone will be your cup of tea.
We have radically different personalities, interests, likes, dislikes, mindsets, perspectives, wants and needs. So If 5 billion people don’t like you, but the other 2 billion people do, then so be it.
Focus on those who do like you, love you, accept you and respect you. That’s what really matters most in the end.
6. Get logical.
When you’re caught up in the way you feel, you act on emotion. And it’s that emotion that ends up bruising your self esteem and self worth.
It’s those emotions that pull you into the gutter, and cause you to belittle yourself.
If someone won’t accept you for who you are, think about it logically.
- If they don’t accept me, is it the end of the world?
- If they don’t like me, will I lose an arm, a leg, or a limb?
The truth is – nothing dangerous, worrying, or disastrous will come from it. So you’re only wasting your energy on caring so much, and worst of all, treating yourself like a piece of trash in the dustbin.
Summary of blog post:
- Ask why to get answers.
- Get in the habit of acknowledging your qualities.
- Realize you’re not perfect, and accept that.
- Realize not everybody will like you, and that’s OK.
- Get logical.